Sunday, January 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I fully intend to keep each one, most of them are food related.... I think it's because I'm hungry
1. Eat more fruits and vegetables by eating more animals that have eaten fruits and vegetables.
Why should my digestive tract do all the work when there are plenty of animals willing to consume grains and leaves on my behalf and store them as useful fat and protein.
2. Read less.
Perhaps the most monotonous and time consuming sillyness that has ever been contrived is reading. I'm planning on cutting reading by 50%, otherwise this year would have been a failure.
3. Consume 365 Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches.
That is an average of 1 per day, I'm already several days behind. I better get cracking tomorrow.
4. Take the elevator instead of the stairs.
I walk enough...
5. Start Smoking.
.... ok, maybe not....
6. Shoot an animal.
Really any animal would do. I would like to start with my neighbors yipping dogs, but a deer has lots more protein.
7. Place all my used aluminum cans in the trash instead of the recycle bin. (this also goes for batteries and CFL bulbs)
8. Watch fewer movies.
I have rarely sat down to watch a full length feature film and two hours later not wish I had that two hours back. Most recent movies, are poorly written, trashy and scarcely entertaining. So, Hollyweird you can have it.
9. Eat more gluten, sodium, and trans fat.
I really think these are miracle dietary substances necessary for maintaining life. If I owned a cookie company, the outside packaging would say things like "NOW WITH 50% MORE GLUTEN!"
10. Sit on the toilet for longer periods of time.
Seriously, what is the hurry.