The Gift of Life

I met my oldest daughter, Rebekah, 4 years ago today. I remember the halfhearted cry she gave me when one of the workers placed her on my lap while we sat in the orphanage directors office in the outback of Russia back in 2009. Her hollow little eyes told the tale, a little girl who's life up to that point had been a steady stream of hurt and dysfunction that is not appropriate for civilized conversation. But by God's grace, it is a past that has since been buried and plowed under many times over and the decaying remains now provide fertile soil for the garden of blessings her life has become. December 16^th, 2009, Oh my soul, what a day.

We had to leave her behind that December. We had to go home and wait for our court date. As we left, I picked that little girl up and whispering in her ear: “I go to prepare a place for you...” Because that's what Jesus once told me. Then Allison and I watched her be led down a dark hallway where the children stay. We weren't allowed down there, and that is probably for the best...

Allison and I got home in time for Christmas that year, but it was tough to celebrate. The house was still empty, and there was a mountain left to climb in our journey come early spring, and a rugged mountain it proved to be. But we climbed it, and she's home... forever... What a gift.

Then there is Ruthie. Be still my heart...

On a cold morning last March we drove up to a hospital in Birmingham to meet our second addition. A little brown baby girl that had just been born 2 days prior and was about to be discharged from the hospital and needed a place to go.

There we found ourselves in the neonatal ICU, with our new daughter and the woman who gave birth to her. Many people have made a lot of presumptions about Ruthie's birth mother and they are always wrong. She is nothing less than a hero to me, and I'll never refer to her with anything less than my utmost respect. I hugged her and told her I loved her and we thanked her for minutes on end. We cried, she cried, all of the nurses cried, and then we held hands and prayed... Then we drove back home that afternoon a family of 4. I never will forget Rebekah's reaction when we stepped off the elevator into the lobby with her new baby sister. She beamed with pride and joy, deep down she knew what was at stake.

Getting Ruthie home wasn't quite the ordeal it was for Rebekah, but it was every bit as miraculous. It has been said that the most dangerous place for a black female is in the womb, sadly the abortion industry has made that statistically true. But our Ruthie's birth mother quietly and resolutely made a remarkable sacrifice and chose to give life, a decision for which I am eternally grateful. The gift of life... What a precious gift.

At almost 10 months old, Ruthie is now in to everything, and Rebekah is in Kindergarten and the finest big sister a girl could ask for. Both their stockings hang on the mantle waiting for gifts. The house is filled with the warmth of family, the smell of food, and lit with the glow of Christmas lights. And because of my diligent and loving wife, it has become the home every child deserves.

And soon presents will be opened, cousins and grandparents will be visited and Rebekah and Ruthie will continue to be part of something very special, a family. I wanted it like this, after all, I told Rebekah I would prepare a place for her... and we did... Then there was room for Ruthie... and there is plenty of room for more.

This year, like many others, my gift won't be unwrapped, they'll be the ones doing the unwrapping. Just fix me a cup of coffee and give me a good seat by the fire, because everything I ever wanted for Christmas I've already got. The gift of life.  

My 10 Points

After my last strongman contest I took some time to re-evaluate where I was and try and answer the simple question "what are your goals?" It's the question Dan John hangs his hat on, and, for me, at least it's been one that is difficult to answer.

So I sat around and thought about what my training should focus on, and I did what I do best...  I made a list.

The goals are simple: look better, feel better, move better, be a better husband/father, and correct some weaknesses along the way, and maybe one day I'll come back to strongman and be better than I was before.

Now, I hate articles with titles like "THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF BEING AWESOME" and "12 THINGS YOU MUST BE DOING OR ELSE YOU ARE A STUPID". So, let's just leave it as 10 points, that are really only applicable to me, but I thought I might share and give you some ideas and maybe you might find something useful.

This is the list posted on the wall of my garage gym. A reminder of the things I forget. I'll go through the points and give a brief explanation.

I. Upper Body Hypertrophy - I have a relatively weak bench press/overhead press, and I believe that my technique on the issues is maxed out. So, in my estimation, the only thing that is going to improve my pressing is to add some meat above the sternum. Hypertrophy is achieved (primarily) through volume, for those that don't know.

II. Lower Body Strength/Power - I am old. I am getting slower. I need to intermingle some of the quick lifts. And get away from the grinding heavy movements. There is a time to grind, but remember, we're trying to feel better too.

III. Technical Quality / Quality over Quantity - No ugly lifts. The training session is over when the bar slows and form is sacrificed.

IV. Mobility / Stretching  between sets - If I'm going to maximize time and efficiency in the gym I'm going to have to use the time between sets and exercises to get this body loosened up.

V. Address Weaknesses - That's what this whole list is about

VI. Bar Speed is a Priority - Taking a page from Fred Hatfield's compensatory acceleration, move the bar fast. It will help keep the bar moving when the weights get heavier.

VII. Rowing, Pulling, Upper Back - This goes back to point one. But here I am thinking more about shoulder stability and long term health. Yes, more meat up top too. But strong traps, lats, rhomboids and thoracic extensors keep you young, upright and stable. At least 2 repetitions of pulling/rowing movements for every 1 of pressing is the recommendation of many.

VIII. Sometimes Think Single Limb - If you want me to look like I don't have the strength to stand up out of a chair, make me do lunges. I hate them for a multitude of reasons. Also, Pistol squats were once big back in the day, and now split squats with the rear foot on a bench are the measure of strength in many of the training facilities of professional athletes. They have their place and are another tool in the toolbox. And, like much of this list, we are overlapping with point five.

IX. DO NOT MISS REPS - I do not have the neurological recuperative ability to waste on trying to move a bar that is going no where. It fries me and ensures that I my next effort in the gym will be sub-optimal. So, I'm not doing it. This doesn't mean I don't go heavy, but it does mean that I don't have room to be stupid and that I'll have to put some thought into my weight selection when I do.

X. Address The Midsection - I refuse to use the word "core" Do some situps and side bends. Work on your powerbelly. It often gets neglected and it shouldn't.

Big Hairy Daddy Strength and Conditioning (my garage)

So there is my list. Do I always follow it? No. Now, go make your own list and put it somewhere you'll see it every time you go to the gym, especially if you are prone to forget your own great advice like me.

Back to School

I threw up almost every day before Kindergarten...  What can I say, I've got a nervous stomach, and I'm a mama's boy, sue me...  I don't remember much about Mrs. Collins class except tracing my name, napping on a hand-me-down green and tan mat, and having a Masters of The Universe lunch box that was so awesome it would melt your face if you stared at it too long...  Those were the days.

Life has a way of coming full circle... imagine that.

Today my beloved daughter walked into Kindergarten. She didn't cry, or really complain, or (heaven forbid) throw up from nerves. She did the very thing she has always has always done, rise to the occasion. She put on her brave face and just did it. She's had to do that a lot in her short little life, her circle was broken, we fixed it...

I can't believe that's my little girl...  There's still part of me that thinks I'm not old enough to have come full circle and continue to make laps. I don't know that I was ready for today.

I peeked around the door a couple of times as Allison and I were leaving. She just sat and looked around at the new challenge before her, and then began another chapter in big book of growing up.  

Allison cried when we got home, I wanted to, but I poured another cup of coffee and thought about how quiet the house was with my little blonde treasure away at school. 

After work I got to hear all about her first day. She caught a lizard on the playground, and I'm pretty sure all the boys are now in love with her and went home an told their mothers how awesome Rebekah is. I got to hear about how glad she was to see mom, and Ruthie.  Ruthie kicked and laughed all the way home after picking Rebekah up from school, she missed her... They are sisters you know...

I remember my mom would come pick me up from kindergarten early everyday in a big white Ford LTD. There was scarcely a more welcome sight in my 5 year old brain than Carol Boman behind the wheel of the old tank. 

Mom always came to get me... Always..  

And I am so thankful that one day, when Rebekah is coming full circle, she will be able to say the same.

Mommy always, always, always came to get me.

Let The Overhaul Roll On

Well, for those of you who might care (I can't imagine it's not more than a couple of folks and my mom) I finished up my most recent contest last week and the writing is on the wall... In short, it's time to take a step back.

I spent the last year getting ready for Georgia's Strongest Man 2013 and my best effort and preparation still couldn't dent the armor of the competition.  My hat's off to them, there are a lot of really big, young, talented, strong guys here in the Southeastern United States that are the real deal.  Me, well, I ain't got much for talent, but I guess as the saying goes fools rush in where angels dare trod.

My best isn't good enough, and in a world where kids grow up being told winning is the only thing, and they are a champion, or elite, or get a trophy and a pizza party for participating, frankly, I'm kind of proud that all I have to show for my competitive endeavors are aches, bruises, some good laughs, great memories and great friendships. Strongman rewards the best, of which I am not one, and let it be known that I would rather walk away with nothing, than some trinket I didn't earn.

And just one more thing, you'll miss out on a lot of living if you're too scared or proud to sign your name and send in the entry form...

But now that My Big Year is behind me I'm excited. The pressure is off and it is a new day.  So I thought I would write down some thoughts about how training is going to change for me. Maybe it will help you in your training or maybe you can get some ideas, honestly, I'm writing this so I'll remember what I'm doing for the next several months because I chase as many squirrels as anybody (fortunately I built squirrel chasing into the plan)

• Jim Wendler gave me permission to train two days a week when he wrote this article. I love the setup for 5,3,1 training done in only 2 days. I'll probably trim back the volume on the extra stuff a good bit, but you get the idea. I plan on training 3 days a week, but I only want to have 2 days of structured programming (i.e. If I don't get to that 3rd training day it's not going to affect the long term outlook) Also, it is essential for me that I do some stuff I want to do and have a little fun OR here is a novel concept, not do anything. So there. 
• Monday - Squat, Overhead Press, maybe some other accessories that I feel like doing
• Thursday - Deadlift, Bench Press, and again, whatever
• Saturday - Squirrel Chasing, Whatever I feel like doing, Have Fun, Do a little of this and that, work on some weak areas, some strongman stuff, etc.
• On a side note, the original 5,3,1 training template was based on 90% of your 1 rep max and this was used as the training max for the program.  For my squat and deadlift I have programmed it with 80% of my 1 rep max to lighten it up for a little while and work on moving the bar a little more quickly. I'm still using the 90% for my pressing/overhead stuff since that is a very weak area for me, and one of the things I'll be concentrating on in the coming months. 
• Fat loss is one of my short term goals (i.e. 6-8months). Now, the Monday morning after the show I weighed in at a bloated and tired 308lbs. I would like to whittle that down to 270 or so, but I probably won't weigh except every week or two, I don't care much about a scale. Unless you're a weight class athlete you shouldn't either. But there is no point in carrying all this extra fluff around. Plus like everyone I want to look and feel better. I know what I'm after and I know when I feel it in my clothes and see it in the mirror.
• My perspective on dieting has changed. If I start some crazy diet straight up I'll melt for about 2 weeks and then my metabolism will wise up and I won't lose another pound, SO, we are going to ease into this diet thing.
• I lost 5 lbs. this week eating whatever I wanted, just not sweets/desserts. "Steal the low hanging fruit first" as Dan John says. The minimally effective dose is all that is required to start a successful diet. When cutting out the desserts has lost it's edge we'll move into lowering the carbs and doing some more portion control, but for now, do the minimum to keep the fat coming off.
• Also for fat loss I plan to walk the dog, do lots of swimming with the girls, and probably gonna throw in some kettlebell swings when things I need a little something extra. But I'm saving that for when the other stuff stops working. But now that I'm stepping away from competitive goals, I got nothing but time.
• Other miscellaneous goals include working on my olympic lifts, maybe trying my hand at highland games, and, most importantly, get outside and enjoy my happy little family...  
• At some point during all of this I'll have to consider mobility, so there's that.
• One of the natural roles I found myself in last Saturday was that of a mentor and coach, as bad as I am I still have more experience and than any of the local competitors we took with us. I look forward to helping them achieve their goals and contribute to their success any way that I can. I couldn't be prouder of what their already doing.
• I am on the fast track to being a Masters (older) athlete in whatever strength sport I choose. One year means nothing, I am only minimally stronger this year than I was last year, my Big Year didn't yield anything but an extra thin ring on the tree of strength. Long term investment is the name of the game and multi-year programming is going to be necessary for the big bang lifts like the deadlift, squat and press.

So there you go, a new outlook and a fresh start. Let the Overhaul roll on....