I Remember (Easter and Fatherhood Eve Revisited)

I live on the verge of tears around Easter. It always will coincide with the the anniversary of the adoption of our first daughter, Rebekah. I'm tearful because I remember it all....

I remember when I was a boy, maybe 12 or less, watching a special on 20/20 or one of those programs about a couple adopting a little girl from Russia.  She was probably about 9 or so. The adoptive parents had returned to Russia to finally bring the little girl home. The cameras were rolling when they brought the little girl out.  I remember when she saw her new parents waiting for her, she burst into tears and said "They told me you were coming back for me, I didn't believe them, but you came back, you came back for me!"...  I suppose I will never ever forget hearing those words...  I still remember...

I remember meeting Rebekah in Astrakhan, Russia in December of 2009, I remember saying goodbye the first time...  I picked up a pale frightened little girl while muttering the words of Jesus Himself  "I go to prepare a place for you"... It was the only thing I knew to say...  I remember the orphanage worker taking her by the hand and leading her back down the long dark hall, I remember how she turned and looked back at Allison and I curiously wondering who in the world we were.

Rebekah and her favorite caregiver at the orphanage
in Astrakhan, Russia

I remember a few months later being back in Russia to bring her home, sitting down and composing these words on Easter and Fatherhood Eve.

"When we left from that first trip, we left a small picture album, with pictures of Allison and I, and Family, and even Gracie the hound with Rebekah. We wanted her new home to at least be familiar to her in picture. We were told when we came back this trip that it had become her favorite thing. That she would sit in the corner and look at it again and again and again. Allison and I fought back the tears on the playground that day, I have never been filled with more love and heartbreak than I was that day. Oh how I wanted to pick her up and tell her “precious girl, if you only knew...” Little does she know that with those pictures she is merely looking at a mirror dimly, but soon she shall see it all face to face. It will be real, the past will be gone, and she will receive a new life. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

And now Allison and I stand together, holding onto each other and a Resurrected Savior. I am fearless about tomorrow, it will be hard, but in the end we will see the Glory of God unfold in the life of this beautiful little girl.

So, this Easter is special, we will celebrate Christ’s resurrection today, and in a practical way we will celebrate it tomorrow as well. Rebekah will leave everything behind, and we will dress her in new clothes and finally we will step, as a family, beyond those rusty iron gates forever.

Rebekah Grace Boman will walk out of an orphanage tomorrow, because Jesus Christ walked out of a tomb today."

That was three years ago... I remember right where I was sitting when I wrote those words... I remember.

First Beach trip 2010

I remember when Rebekah saw the beach for the first time. She laughed and ran and played with more joy than I thought I child was capable of expressing. There we were, a family, standing knee deep on the shores of the ocean we crossed to bring her home...  My God, how I do remember...


I remember our first Christmas together and all of them since...

I remember playing, swinging, swimming and hearing 'I love you' for the first time...  I remember drinking deeply from the well of life, and then going back for seconds...  I remember...

Our Annual trip to the beach 2012

Rebekah's first Auburn football game 2012

I remember how scared I was, of fatherhood, the unknown, and our desperate condition a million miles from home. I remember singing Rich Mullins words to myself a thousand times again, "Hold Me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf, you have been King of My Glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace".  I still sing those words in my head when doubts and fears assail me...

I remember wondering what life would look like in the years to come...  In my wildest imagination I could not have dreamed that it could be so completely saturated in this rich a joy. I remember a road fraught with trial, but I also remember that intentional and sacrificial love has washed over a multitude of things.

I remember just a few weeks ago when Russia closed it's doors to international adoptions, it makes it hard for me to breathe just thinking about it... I remember their little faces... Oh, how I do remember...

I remember when we stepped off the elevator a month ago with our newest adopted daughter, Ruthie.  Rebekah's reaction upon meeting her was the most jubilant and joyful of all... Maybe because deep down somewhere, she knows what's at stake...

My Family

I remember on Easter...  I remember the death, burial, and The Resurrection of Our Savior, that we might receive the adoption as Sons and Daughters. I remember that we adopted, because we have been adopted by God...

I will always remember that if ever I am asked for proof of Christ and His Resurrection. I will only need to point to the girl the world forgot, but whom God remembered, and who's very life is a testimony to His miraculous healing power, and I'll remember to say, on the verge of tears, "Right there, right there is your proof..."

I remember...

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. ² In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. ³ If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."- John 14:1-3