Resolution #4

Resolution #4 - I am resolved to sleep whenever the opportunity to do so is presented.

Allison and Rebekah (over Al's left shoulder) sleeping in the Madrid Airport

I was laying on the cold marble floors of the Madrid airport at 4am local time when this resolution popped into my mind. I had a small travel pillow, a flannel shirt as a blanket, and had put my boots back on just to keep my feet warm.

Allison and I had made a campsite in a small corner of the terminal next to the duty free liquor store. At the time it was a nice, quiet area. Allison lay next to me, and Rebekah was sound asleep on a makeshift pallet of airplane blankets and her super fluffy "blankie". We all three drifted off, when I awoke about an hour and a half later, the marble floor had literally drained all the body heat from me.

I got up and walked around just to get the blood flowing again, and then just stood watch over my girls for the rest of the time. I've never missed my bed like I missed it then.

Late that night when we arrived home, as I got in bed I literally could not believe how soft my own bed was. I even checked to see if someone had put one of those memory foam covers on it for us. I slept like a baby.

So, no, I will not be staying up late, and, yes I will be taking a nap...

Resolution #3

Resolution #3 - I am resolved to never learn a foreign language, no matter how practical or useful it may be.

This resolution is both a compliment to and a consequence of Resolution #1. If I keep Resolution #1 this resolution should be a natural by product, or at least it should be... Unless I go to Texas...

It got old using a primitive monkey sign-language to try and convey to stern, impatient Russians what it was that you wanted... Couple that with just trying to talk louder and use precise diction and A-NUN-SEE-ASHUN hoping that it was not the fact that you both spoke completely different languages, but rather that the person you were trying to communicate with simply had a hearing impairment or that you were a mumbler. It was ridiculous, but we survived.

And I think there was something inside me that just plain felt dirty using the Russian words for "hello", "goodbye", and "thank you"... I felt like a traitor... Everytime I said "Dasvidaniya" I'm sure I felt the same guilt as if I had just lit flame to an American flag.

No more. I'm an American. I speak English. I've got a million other things I would rather learn before I would want to learn how to easily ask somewhere where the bathroom is in Spanish.

Resolution #2

Resolution # 2 - I am resolved to take advantage of as many "all you can eat" wings nights as possible while I do live.

I essentially live in a college town (well, technically in the town adjacent to a college town). Now being so near a major university provides one with almost as many pros as cons. For example, Con - good luck driving anywhere on a Fall Saturday when there is a home football game (War Eagle!), but you have to take the good with the bad. So, I'll tolerate things like mad traffic in exchange for other things like.... Large quantities of cheap delicious food intended to draw college students in to spend money on alcohol. So, in Auburn, Alabama on just about any night of the week you can find some relatively inexpensive all you can eat food specials from the local eating establishments. The most common (and in my opinion delicious) AYCE special is that from the humble lowly chicken wing... I salivate as I type this...

I spent many a Russian evening with my stomach gurgling from hunger wondering why in the world I did not more frequently exercise the opportunity to tee-total stuff myself with the fried, sauce-covered best part of a chicken.

At times I felt like a guy in a movie, maybe trapped in a cave, realizing that death is eminent asking himself why he never married his high school sweet heart, then promising himself if he made it out alive, he would... Fortunately, I married the best woman in the world... So, on those nights, as I wasted away from hunger, all you can eat chicken wings became my high school sweetheart, and I promised myself I would never take them for granted again.

So, save a little bleu cheese and celery sticks for me, Daddy's coming.

The Resolutions - Resolution #1

I'm going to start a new series of posts called "The Resolutions". You may have seen my twitter updates where I began listing various resolutions of things I will or will never do again now that my wife and I have finally returned home from Russia with our beautiful daughter.

While in Russia for a month I was daily taught lessons on how wonderful life is here in America compared to other countries. So this list will serve as a reminder of insights, lessons, and just things that drove me crazy while away. A lot of the have to do with food, and for that I apologize. I lost 23lbs. in Russia, not because I was trying, but because the food was that bad.

Now, this is also a lighthearted take on the Puritan theologian Jonathan Edwards and his 70 resolutions , which are much more edifying and noble than these resolutions will be. Still, I hope you enjoy.

Resolution #1 - I am resolved to never leave the borders of the United States ever again.

Dear Other Countries,
You are not as good as mine. I do not care to see you, your historic landmarks, your tourist attractions, your detailed architecture, your beautiful landscapes, or subject myself to your corrupt government in any way. If I wish to see mountains I will drive to the North or West, and if I wish to see ocean I will drive South. If I wish to experience history I will turn to the appropriate channel on my television or open a book. Finally, I will gladly embrace the label of being narrow-minded and unenlightened by making this resolution.

Sincerely,
Zachary E. Boman

The Week Before

Two weeks ago I couldn't bend down to tie my shoe without a bolt of lightening ripping down my back and left leg. The second toe on my left foot is killing me and goes numb if I stand up too long. Both my knees ache pretty much all the time, a recent development ever since my Earth suit turned 30. And I haven't slept through the night in quite a while due to the fact the to lie down is to drown in my own fat, a phenomenon amplified by the fact that I can sleep no other way than on my stomach, my ever growing stomach...

I am a strongman.

It takes a special form of insanity to put your body through this. An insanity more dignified, noble, disciplined than all the others. Eight months ago I was a svelte 263 pounds, sporting a 40 inch waist (one more size and I could have shopped in the normal people section), my double chin had faded, and I would even get compliments consistently on my weight loss...

Enter the posting on NAS for Georgia's Strongest Man 2009. This was it, my chance to get in the game and do it on a shoestring budget. So training began shortly after New Year's and since then it has been a steady diet of "all you can eat" combined with gym lifting and events training on Saturday's. Twenty Seven Pounds later here I sit, winded from typing, limited to clothing with drawstrings and elastic waistes, only four days from my second debut (we won't talk about my first).

I don't expect to win, I'm realistic about my abilities. But one thing is for sure, I'm stronger now than I've ever been, older than I've ever been, and more excited about the challenge in front of me than I've ever been.

So before I go guzzle yet another Protein Shake here is a rundown of my last events day. Saturday the 6th of June, just wanted to do a dry run and take it easy:

Log - empty x gagillion, 135 x 5, 175 x 3 (working on push jerk>), 205 x 2, 225 x 1, 235 x 1
Frame Carry - 210 x 100ft, 340 x 50ft. x 2 (set down turn around pick up), 480 x 50 x 2 (held it a few extra seconds did some shrugs)(also, did a couple extra deadlifts with it)
Tire Flip (540lb.) flip x 2,flip x 15
Gasped for air and tried not to vomit x 5 minutes
Stones over 54" bar 215lb x 1, 240lb. x 3 x 2
Tried to close my friend's #2 CoC gripper x unsuccessful, wow that is tough


Tonight:
Walked dog x 45 minutes
Watered Tomato Plants x 5 minutes